Judgment – A Reflection of You

Dear J,

Parenting has a way of holding up a mirror, showing me parts of myself I might not otherwise notice. A few days ago, my children took an incredibly long time to do their chores. After several attempts to push them along, I saw hours slipping, and their tasks were still unfinished. My patience began to thin ( a lot), and my voice found a pitch that was anything but calm. I was sleep-deprived, and there were some pressures of life weighing on my mind. So, I figured they'd finally pick up the pace if I raised my voice a little more.

Instead, one of my children responded negatively to my not-so-gentle nudge. There was murmuring, quiet complaining, and even a hushed discussion with siblings about how unfair I was being. That did it for me! I became upset. I felt unheard, unappreciated, and, honestly, a little hurt. So, like many moms caught in the heat of frustration, I launched into a speech about how ungrateful they were. My words filled the room and then came silence.

But when all was said and done, I sat with my thoughts. I replayed my child's words about me, my reaction to their delay, and my frustration over their complaints. Then, a sobering realization hit me: the very judgment I felt from my child was simply a reflection of me.

How often have I done the same thing? Complained about feeling overworked? Muttered my frustrations under my breath when life felt too demanding? Overlooked my shortcomings but magnified someone else’s? The truth was uncomfortable but clear—my child was mirroring what was seen in me back to me.

And that’s when I understood something powerful: we teach our children how to respond to life, not just with our words, but with our actions. If I wanted my children to respond with grace, patience, and gratitude, I had to model those things first.

So, here’s the takeaway: before we judge others—especially our children—we need to look at ourselves. Judgment often isn’t about the person before us; it reflects what’s inside us. To see kindness, patience, and respect in my children, I must start by embodying those qualities myself. It's a humbling lesson but a necessary one.

Until Next Time!

Love,

Mel